The Love And The Patience of God

I feel like I've had my heart bitter and hard for too long.I remembered how irritable I was earlier when this week started.I was having a rough Wednesday.I felt like I wanted to shut myself out from the whole world just for a little while.But of course,I didn't have that option when I still had a whole day of school ahead of me.Life has been rough for me nowadays.It especially hasn't been easy this past week.It was a miracle when I had a snow day on Friday 2/26/10.It added onto my usual two day weekend,making it a three day weekend.That made me very happy.However,it was tragedy for me when I came back to school;and all the teachers threw all these homeworks,tests,and quizzes in my face out of nowhere.I mean sure,hey,it's high school.Of course I'd have to expect a lot of work.And of course I know I have an obligation to respect my teachers as well.But it made me feel bottled up inside with so many mixed up emotions.It made me feel stressed,miserable,overwhelmed,and even angry.What provoked me the most,was my Chorus test.I barely understood the rhythm practices and stuff.It made me feel angry that I was expected to learn everything by Thursday and Friday.The teacher especially made me tense when she said that this test will be 75% of our grade for this marking period.And she was obviously not kidding.Earlier this week some person hit my in the head with a racket in gym.Of course it was accidental,but that also provoked me.The days passed by slowly and I kept hanging on.I continuously dozed off and zoned out in some classes,when I tried not too.Sometimes it's simply just hard for me as one person.Sometimes I couldn't help but burst into tears.Sometimes I couldn't help but ask why?Over and over again I asked why why why?I'd wonder if this feeling was what they called depression.But somehow...through the pain and all the tears,I feel that God tells me something very important.But He didn't just tell me this now.He's told me many times before,in many kinds of ways.Sometimes whenever my parents would correct me of my mistakes,I feel like God spoke through them to give me reminders.Sometimes the randoms acts of kindness from complete total strangers, help me to feel God's love.One time,an elderly woman on the busy street tapped my shoulder just to tell me that I dropped my wallet.Sometimes the beauty of the sun peering through white puffy clouds,or the gracefulness of rain pouring down,brings a smile to my face.Sometimes I hear the Holy Spirit gently speaking inside of me for comfort.No matter how God shows it,it certainly gives me good reminders.It makes me think of how long God has waited for the people of this world to open up their eyes and apologize.In 2 Peter 3:8-9 it says,"Dear friends,here is one thing you must not forget.With the Lord a day is like a thousand years.And a thousand years are like a day.The Lord is not slow to keep His promise.He is not slow in the way some people understand it.He is patient with you.He doesn't want anyone to be destroyed.Instead,He wants all people to turn away from their sins." With a kind of patience like that,God is truly merciful and loving.I believe that God's love is a special kind of love.It's not like the dead, plastic, temporary, and shallow "love" that comes from this world.The love that comes from God is infinite.This whole entire time,God has been hurt by the people He created.Can you imagine God giving His one only Son to the world who hurts Him so much?He does this by His grace, mercy, and love.A well known verse already shows this in John 3:16,"God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son.Whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life." People who take Jesus Christ in as their personal Lord and Savior,will build an intimate relationship with Him.As they get to know God they start to understand more things.I guess everyone has their bad days and rough moments.At times like these it's normal to feel like your about to fall off the edge.However,in 1 Corinthians 13:12 it says,"Now we see only a dim likeness of things.It is as if we were seeing them in a mirror.But someday we will see clearly.We will see face to face.What I know now is not complete.But someday I will know completely,just as God knows me completely." This verse goes for the times we can't help but ask questions.But we just have to be patient and hang onto God and our faith.In Matthew 24:13 it says,"But the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." I know sometimes,situations in this life can shift my emotions.But I can't allow myself to give in so easily.No other child of God should either.We live with the life of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit lives in us.We are new creations so why must we act in the same way we were before we knew God?How would that make us any different from the people of this world?How would we be the salts and the lights then?All I can say is...the love and the patience of God truly brings me down to my knees.It reminds me of my true place and it humbles me.It makes me feel determined to try and live my life with that kind of love and patience.But I know I have a LONG way to go.As a human being alone,my own knowledge is already foolish.I'll just fall down without God on my side.That's why I ask for help and wisdom from God.I encourage you to do the same.Because in Proverbs 3:5-6 it says,"Trust in the Lord with all your heart.Don't rely on your own understanding.In all your ways,remember Him.Then He will make your paths smooth and straight." Life truly is tough here on this imperfect, temporal, and corrupt world.But that's why God is here to help us.He has always been here,willing to help.We just have to give up on our stubbornness.I'm so glad I can find hope and comfort whenever I cry for God's help.

Snow Day 2/10/10

Yesterday something unexpected happened.I was sitting casually in lab in a somewhat sluggish way.I was never too fond of lab.I always thought it was complicated.Everyone was talking about the possibility of a snow day.During that moment I remembered how I prayed for a snow day,even last week.I thought in my head Lord God please let there be snow.Bring a blizzard if it's your will.Suddenly out of nowhere there was an announcement.It was Mr. Athy the principal.He said that there was "depressing" news.Everyone started smiling when he said that word.Then he said that school would be cancelled the very next day.Everyone in the room started screaming for the rest of the announcement,so we didn't hear anything else he said.Even my teacher was rejoicing.I found it ironic that even teachers would want a snow day, but they are human being as well.I felt so happy.Earlier this week, when the weekend was over I felt terrible inside.I didn't want to go back to school.I asked God if I could have a fever.Yup...that's how desperate I was to get out of it.However, it's pretty foolish because I'm practically asking God to hurt me if I asked for a fever.I was a bit afraid that maybe asking for a snow day was selfish of me.I know that God hates laziness.But God knows all my thoughts and feelings.He certainly knows what's in my heart.He knows how stressed I can be from school.I guess God's just merciful like that.It truly brings a smile on my face, to know that I can count on God with everything.After all this time, I should know that God will never let me down no matter what.He is the creator of the universe after all.And because I pray with faith and I believe with all my heart in God, I know I will be answered.

In 1 John 5:14-15 it says:There is one thing we can be sure of when we come to God in prayer.If we ask anything in keeping with what He wants, He hears us.If we know that God hears what we ask for, we know we have it.

Hallelujah isn't that great?!As children of God,we have the power of prayer in our hands.All we need to do is put our faith into it, not doubt.

In Matthew 21:21-22 it says:Jesus replied,"What I'm about to tell you is true.You must have faith and not doubt.Then you can do what was done to the fig tree.And you can say to this mountain,'Go and throw yourself into the sea.' It will be done.If you believe, you will achieve what you ask for when you pray.

I know what you're thinking...Some story..talking about a snow day.Well, can I say?It's a big deal to me since it rarely happens in the area I live in.Besides,I have much more bizarre experiences than this.I pray to God for almost anything.But those moments are left for other stories here on my blog.Goodbye and enjoy your snow day!BTW 15th Happy Birthday to my friend Aubrey!! ;)

The Year I Came To Know God

It might be a little late right now.I wanted to talk about my year of 2009.Mostly people would talk about their year before or around when the clock strikes twelve. It's 11:02 AM as I'm typing this sentence.It's the first day of 2010.I'm a bit overwhelmed by the fact that I have to return to school in two days.But I'm happy to know it's a brand new year.It surprises me how emotional people can be in this phase of change.Some people are just so attached to 2009 and some people aren't ready to move on.But for some reason...I'm ready to move on.Just yesterday morning,I didn't make a big deal over the fact that it was New Year's Eve.I was just sitting sluggishly in front of the computer,continuing my tedious homework.But as the hours passed by,I noticed how people expressed their feelings about 2009 in the live feed of my facebook homepage.I thought to myself wow...I had no idea people could be so emotional about this.But now that I think about it,there's so much to be thankful for.Especially since 2009 was truly my year of change.I know that usually New Year's resolutions go downhill.(Let's get real..people neglect them...right?)But sometimes New Year's resolutions do prevail if the person is truly motivated about it.Well my New Year's resolution for 2009,was to start reading the Bible.On January 4,2009 I started reading the book of Matthew.I didn't know why I picked it.But I guess I just wanted to start fresh in the New Testament.I prayed hard to God that I could learn and memorize many verses.Little did I know that God would open up my eyes to so much more things.The Holy Spirit was definitely working inside of me.I was finally fed with the food that my spirit longed to consume all these years.I was beyond content.I felt like my days were overflowing with blessings.At every corner and aspect of my life,I always had another reason to thank God.My mentality began to broad like the horizon.I began to see the world and the universe in a whole new way.I know mentioned this before.I mentioned it several times on my blog.But I never get tired of saying these things.Because these are the experiences that turned my whole life around.I was like a brutal monster back then,with all my sinful,wicked,and foolish ways.My decisions were absurd and so I stumbled along the pathway.But God lifted up the curse in me and broke me free from these chains of sin.He only did that when I was truly seeking with a thirsty earnest heart.He only did that when I believed with all my faith.Yes...I was born into a Christian family.Yes...I was trained to believe in Him.And yes...I did believe that there was a God all my life.But I never truly got to know Him personally like I did in 2009,when I started reading the Bible.The Bible does wonders in your life that you've never even dreamed of or thought possible. That's where you'll find God.That's why I will remember 2009 and keep it close to my heart.Because 2009 is the very year that I truly came to know God."I don't know what tomorrow will hold,but I know who holds tomorrow." Quoted by a preacher whose name I don't know of.God will take good care of His children.Thats why I'm not afraid of 2010.Happy New Year everyone! :)

Power in the Word of God

This week passed by with its usual pace.I didn't find it either slow or fast this time.Some days brought me down.Some days brought me bliss.I kept hanging on and striving through.Everyday had another battle of its own.Of course I have not stopped reading the Bible.I knew it would bring me encouragement through any circumstance.It always did.I keep my mini Bible in my backpack and I take it out when I have the chance to read it.I don't read it in a usual expected place for a person to read a Bible.I read it in school.High school...yup the public place filled with school staff and people who might possibly ridicule you.And as this world is turning darker and colder in this generation you'd expect that one day, people might even consider it illegal to say God's holy name in public places.This week a lot of people started noticing what I was doing.They had all sorts of reactions.Some people quietly smiled.Some people had shocked faces.Some people gave weird looks.Some people were amazed.Some people laughed openly.Some people mistaken it for a dictionary.(LOL!)All sorts of questions popped up."Are you religious?Do you go to church?Do you really believe in this?You actually carry a Bible around?Why are you reading it?Do you consider yourself saved?" When people asked all these questions I happily answered them.I felt blessed explaining that my relationship with God was no religion.I was happy to tell them that I read the Bible simply because I want to and wasn't typically forced to.I feel so grateful to God that I can stand boldly for Him this way.I know that God is true and that He is real.He is the Most High God and the Creator of this universe.So He deserves all the acknowledgement and praise.And for this reason,I am not one bit ashamed of my God.I'm not even afraid of the consequences in speaking about God in a public place like school.In Matthew 10:33,Yeshua(Jesus Christ) said,"But whoever is ashamed of me before men,I will be ashamed of him before my Father in heaven."I truly know how it feels now to be blessed by God when you are ridiculed because of Him.Not everyone mocked me because of this, but a few people did laughed or make weird facial expressions.In Matthew 5:11 Yeshua(Jesus Christ) said "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me." However,I am not stung by their thoughts and opinions.I'm even happy that they all acknowledge that I'm not just reading some typical book.I'm glad that they acknowledge that I'm reading the Holy Bible.And the funny part is,the few people gave a little chuckle about this,didn't really have much else to say.They even asked curious questions afterwards.This totally proves the power in the Word of God!!In Hebrews 4:12 it says,"The Word of God is living and active.It is sharper than any two-edged sword.It cuts deep enough to separate soul from spirit.It can separate joints from bones.It judges the thoughts and purposes of the heart." In John 1:1 it says,"In the beginning,the Word was already there.The Word was with God,and the Word was God." It brings me great joy because people actually end up curious.Yeshua (Jesus Christ) wasn't kidding when He said,"In the same way,let your light shine in front of others.Then they will see the good things you do.And they will praise your Father who is in heaven." Now,I know I'm jumping too far ahead for the future,but I'm pretty sure that one day,their curiosity and thirst will lead them to read the Bible and get to know who Yahweh(God) really is.I hope it does happen.But I leave that in the hands of God.It's true that there is power in the Word of God.

A Glimpse of Yesterday

It amazes me how fast time can fly.It seems like yesterday I had just turned thirteen.I was miserable, knowing that I was going to move away from Great Neck on my very birthday and reluctantly say goodbye to my friends.I was this immature, ignorant, and somewhat selfish girl moving into College Point.It was like a whole "new" world which I had come from several months ago.Yet,I was a stranger.I felt like I had lost everything.I thought that it was all just going downhill for me and that there was no way of turning things around.I knew I was going into one of those NYC middle schools and that really made me upset.I certainly did not like the new place we moved in.I just simply resented...everything.My life in Great Neck was great.Nothing else more or less to say.I was content.I loved my school and I liked my friends.I loved the cute little cottage we lived in and I appreciated the quietness in the area.But I guess my convenience was all I could ever see in the life I had back there.Sure,that's what my life was all about.I live day in and day out.I sleep,eat,pray,get through school,and etc.It was oh-so-peaceful-and-mellow.But my eyes didn't capture the true meaning in living since that was all I could see.At the time of moving into College Point,I knew things wouldn't be the same.It made me foolishly grieve.I couldn't see that God was working in the midst of all this.I was so blind.In December later that year 2008,I was adjusting to my new school J.H.S. 185 or as I'd like to call it,"Bleeker Middle School."I was struggling with many things.No one wanted to be friends with me in class.Everything was just simply hard to cut the story off short.My parents met a pastor who visited our church.He was preaching to us and I was amazed on how he knew so many Bible verses by heart.He convicted me to read the Holy Bible more,because the truth was I didn't read it at all.I only read it when I "felt" like it.I didn't take much interest in it,so I barely knew it.I didn't even know that my faith in God wasn't religion.It's simply getting to know Him personally and building a relationship with Him.I didn't even understand who the Holy Spirit was and what's his purpose.So in the beginning of January 2009,I opened up my "neglected" Bible and decided that I would start reading in the book of Matthew in the New Testament.And you know what?Yeshua's(Jesus) words truly amazed me.I found His parables and use of figurative language so beautiful. From that moment on,I began to broad my mind and see things in ways that I haven't seen before.I began to see the world in a different way and I knew nothing could ever possibly attack this faith that I built.I knew that the Holy Spirit was truly moving me in my life.Certain old habits finally vanished.I was made brand new.I began to smile more and life was somehow made easier to deal with because of this new perspective.Every single time I had to cry out for God's help,He would answer, like the wonderful Father He is.And up until now,I still have this warm fuzzy feeling in my heart knowing that the wonderful Creator of this universe in mindful of me.After being a horrible, foolish, proud, judgmental, and heartless jerk,I thought it would be impossible for God to actually take me back.BUT I WAS SO WRONG!God's mercies can't even be measured.We just have to take it before it's too late.Because there will be a time where God will judge the living and the dead.I know that this all happened within one year.But man does time fly fast!It felt like just yesterday, when this all happened.But God has done so much for me in this little time.And I know He will do so much more in the following year.Today,I'm officially fourteen years old!I'm so excited for what's yet to come is God's will in my life.I'm just so grateful to know Yahweh.In this short time I've fallen in so much love with God and I've come to an understanding that it's Him who deserves all the praise that the world He created can possibly give.I'm merely a human being,born again through my faith and through the baptism of God's spirit.I have a lot to praise God for and I must not forget who I was back then when God first chose me to be His.My memories from last year felt like it all happened just yesterday.So no,I will not forget this glimpse of yesterday.