Despite the hurt, I do not give up

It’s weird how drastically fate can alter things in so little time. How the people dear to your heart are suddenly catapulted a million miles away. How the one who you sincerely trusted rapidly becomes an enemy. Despite a short distance, they have become unreachable, because they no longer want to be reached by you. Whatever days that shone brightly with the sun somehow turns into a period of gloom and darkness. Whatever conversations that were once saturated with laughter and bonding of friendship, abruptly shifts into a shudder of silence. 

I should have learned from life’s lessons long before. I should have recognized the patterns that life’s trials have thrown my way. I should have been calloused by the embitterment of disappointment and pain. 

Such unfortunate occasions should have destroyed my ability to open and trust. 

Nonetheless, as broken as the world is, as imperfect as humanity is, as foolish as my heart is, I do not give up on the hope, power, and love of God that can fix, heal, and save all things.

A Glimpse of Yesterday

It amazes me how fast time can fly.It seems like yesterday I had just turned thirteen.I was miserable, knowing that I was going to move away from Great Neck on my very birthday and reluctantly say goodbye to my friends.I was this immature, ignorant, and somewhat selfish girl moving into College Point.It was like a whole "new" world which I had come from several months ago.Yet,I was a stranger.I felt like I had lost everything.I thought that it was all just going downhill for me and that there was no way of turning things around.I knew I was going into one of those NYC middle schools and that really made me upset.I certainly did not like the new place we moved in.I just simply resented...everything.My life in Great Neck was great.Nothing else more or less to say.I was content.I loved my school and I liked my friends.I loved the cute little cottage we lived in and I appreciated the quietness in the area.But I guess my convenience was all I could ever see in the life I had back there.Sure,that's what my life was all about.I live day in and day out.I sleep,eat,pray,get through school,and etc.It was oh-so-peaceful-and-mellow.But my eyes didn't capture the true meaning in living since that was all I could see.At the time of moving into College Point,I knew things wouldn't be the same.It made me foolishly grieve.I couldn't see that God was working in the midst of all this.I was so blind.In December later that year 2008,I was adjusting to my new school J.H.S. 185 or as I'd like to call it,"Bleeker Middle School."I was struggling with many things.No one wanted to be friends with me in class.Everything was just simply hard to cut the story off short.My parents met a pastor who visited our church.He was preaching to us and I was amazed on how he knew so many Bible verses by heart.He convicted me to read the Holy Bible more,because the truth was I didn't read it at all.I only read it when I "felt" like it.I didn't take much interest in it,so I barely knew it.I didn't even know that my faith in God wasn't religion.It's simply getting to know Him personally and building a relationship with Him.I didn't even understand who the Holy Spirit was and what's his purpose.So in the beginning of January 2009,I opened up my "neglected" Bible and decided that I would start reading in the book of Matthew in the New Testament.And you know what?Yeshua's(Jesus) words truly amazed me.I found His parables and use of figurative language so beautiful. From that moment on,I began to broad my mind and see things in ways that I haven't seen before.I began to see the world in a different way and I knew nothing could ever possibly attack this faith that I built.I knew that the Holy Spirit was truly moving me in my life.Certain old habits finally vanished.I was made brand new.I began to smile more and life was somehow made easier to deal with because of this new perspective.Every single time I had to cry out for God's help,He would answer, like the wonderful Father He is.And up until now,I still have this warm fuzzy feeling in my heart knowing that the wonderful Creator of this universe in mindful of me.After being a horrible, foolish, proud, judgmental, and heartless jerk,I thought it would be impossible for God to actually take me back.BUT I WAS SO WRONG!God's mercies can't even be measured.We just have to take it before it's too late.Because there will be a time where God will judge the living and the dead.I know that this all happened within one year.But man does time fly fast!It felt like just yesterday, when this all happened.But God has done so much for me in this little time.And I know He will do so much more in the following year.Today,I'm officially fourteen years old!I'm so excited for what's yet to come is God's will in my life.I'm just so grateful to know Yahweh.In this short time I've fallen in so much love with God and I've come to an understanding that it's Him who deserves all the praise that the world He created can possibly give.I'm merely a human being,born again through my faith and through the baptism of God's spirit.I have a lot to praise God for and I must not forget who I was back then when God first chose me to be His.My memories from last year felt like it all happened just yesterday.So no,I will not forget this glimpse of yesterday.

Battle Cry 2009

Today when you go out on the streets,what do you see?At daylight the town or city seems peaceful and harmless.But have you ever stop to think about the things that happen at night?When the sun goes down and the moon comes up?Has it ever crossed your mind in what teenagers do?They probably smoke, drink, take drugs, have premarital sex, and other things I don't have to spell out.This year 2009 holds a lost generation filled with confused teens.Sometimes they do these things because they think it could solve their problems.Sadly...these things just make their problems worse.Only a certain group of people in this world understand the solution to these issues.Jesus.Many years ago a group of people noticed these issues and decided to take a stand.They wanted to recreate the generation.They had a vision of thousands of youth shouting and crying out for God.They had a vision of the ones that held the future.They wanted to encourage us as teenage Christians to be the salts and lights of this world...to take a stand and conquer darkness.Especially if we're living in the urban area day by day passing by bad influence.Ron Luce, Adam Durso, Jentezen Franklin, Tye Tribbett, and many other people have been working together to make this all possible.They held their hope on us.Because of Battle Cry thousands of teenagers are now saved.April 17-18 the weekend that just passed has been a life changing moment for me.It opened up my eyes that every Child of God should set an example to the crippled fallen world.It made me realize that I am not alone.There are millions of Christians out there hanging onto their faith just as I am.That puts a smile on my face.Bands like Lecrae, Israel, Unhindered, and Jeremy Camp were there.I cried when a guy from Unhindered said,"Just imagine God ripping off the roof of IZOD Center and pouring down His love for you right now".I couldn't help myself.I broke into tears as I was touched by the Holy Spirit.At that very moment I knew I was loved by the Creator of this universe.It made me feel so grateful how God would care to love me.Of all people...me.Sometimes at night I'd think about that before I'd sleep and I'd get this warm feeling in my heart,knowing God truly cares for me.Speakers like Ron Luce and Jentezen Franklin really inspired me.Ron Luce talked about our NEEDS and our WANTS.He said wants are things we desire for but can live without.We might desperately long for it at some time and when we have it we eventually neglect it like last year's technology or fashion.Needs are things we seriously have to have or else we'll die without it.Like the food, air, water, clothes, and a house is something we need.We will need it in your daily lives.His question was "Do you treat Jesus like a need or a want?"If Jesus is a want you'll need Him at some point then eventually forget about Him.But if Jesus is a need you'll need Him every single day of your life and you can't live without Him.Want my honest opinion?Jesus is a NEED to me.Jesus and I are inseparable.I talk to Him everyday.I ask Him for advice and pray to Him for guidance.If I didn't have Him at my side I'd cry and be lost.I'm the stray lamb who was found and He's the shepherd.He leads me.I'd be crippled and afraid without Jesus at my side.Jentezen Franklin talked about the Spirit of the Python.He said it was mentioned in the Book of Acts in the Bible.When you go along with the crowd of this world and hang around with them,and you sin it won't feel so bad.That's when the Python starts grabbing you.Slowly by slowly the more you sin the harder the Python squeezes you.When you go too far with the sins the Python takes away your last breath that breathes life and you are dead.That's what will happen when you play along with the world...doing immoral things.You will end up killed.This is what cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol can do to you.Those two messages really inspired me.There were many other great things that happened at Battle Cry.But in order for you to know them you'll have to see it for yourself.Join our cry for this generation.You won't regret it I guarantee you.

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Be Ashamed Then God Will Be Ashamed of You

Today my class and I were painting our tile designs for our school.Here in Bleeker Middle School or J.H.S. 185,it's not the best schools around.Our building doesn't look so cool.So our school had an artist from Great Neck (where I used to live) come over.So in 7th and 8th period we painted our designs on tiles.We were going to used all our finished tiles and put it on a wall to make our school look more decent.This year we focused on social justice.Many people painted peace signs,hearts,love,the earth,and the American flag.I decided to make a cross on a hill with a sunrise peering over it.One thing the people in my school don't know is I wanted to express my love for Jesus Christ.I wanted to spread a message that God loves everyone very much.I had four tile designs.One was with the cross on a hill,another was with the word "God" inside the fish symbol(fisher of men),another was with the word "loves" in a heart,and the last was the word "you" with a flower background.Altogether it was a message that said "God loves you" with a picture of the cross.Unfortunately I never got to finish the four tiles within the two periods.But I finished one tile.It was the most important tile of all.It was the cross on the grassy hill in front of the sunrise.And when I think about it,the picture of the cross says it all.When you look at it and think about the sacrifice Jesus Christ went through you will just know how much God loves you.When the time was up and I had to give in my tile, I went to the table of crowded people staring at the students' designs.I held my tile carefully in my hands.This kid name Xiao(I don't know if I spelled his name right) looked at my tile and said,"That's racist right there!You're showing the Christian religion!"I glared at him ready to defend my King and my God.I said,"Okay this is not racist.It's not like one race can love God.Anyone can love God.And I'm just expressing my love for my God."He stood there dumbfounded and a little creeped out saying,"Okay..."Back then when I was younger and people made fun of my God I used to cry.But now I'm a little wiser and stronger not to do that.Being a born again christian does not mean having a religion.In fact once you devote your heart and your life to Jesus Christ you have no religion.You have a relationship with Jesus Christ.As a christian you don't have strict practices and rituals.You don't have to recite prayers.You live freely through Christ and as a Child of God.All you have to do is follow the Bible and trust in the Lord.One thing for sure is in Matthew 5:11 it says,"Blessed are you when people mock and hurt you because of me".So I shouldn't feel intimidated in the first place.Another thing is in Matthew 10:33 it says,"But whoever is ashamed of me before men,I will be ashamed of him(her) before my Father in heaven".So I am definitely not ashamed.I love God and that is that.I could care less if people label me a Jesus Freak or call me crazy.What about you?The choice is all yours.Be ashamed then God will be ashamed of you.