The Love And The Patience of God

I feel like I've had my heart bitter and hard for too long.I remembered how irritable I was earlier when this week started.I was having a rough Wednesday.I felt like I wanted to shut myself out from the whole world just for a little while.But of course,I didn't have that option when I still had a whole day of school ahead of me.Life has been rough for me nowadays.It especially hasn't been easy this past week.It was a miracle when I had a snow day on Friday 2/26/10.It added onto my usual two day weekend,making it a three day weekend.That made me very happy.However,it was tragedy for me when I came back to school;and all the teachers threw all these homeworks,tests,and quizzes in my face out of nowhere.I mean sure,hey,it's high school.Of course I'd have to expect a lot of work.And of course I know I have an obligation to respect my teachers as well.But it made me feel bottled up inside with so many mixed up emotions.It made me feel stressed,miserable,overwhelmed,and even angry.What provoked me the most,was my Chorus test.I barely understood the rhythm practices and stuff.It made me feel angry that I was expected to learn everything by Thursday and Friday.The teacher especially made me tense when she said that this test will be 75% of our grade for this marking period.And she was obviously not kidding.Earlier this week some person hit my in the head with a racket in gym.Of course it was accidental,but that also provoked me.The days passed by slowly and I kept hanging on.I continuously dozed off and zoned out in some classes,when I tried not too.Sometimes it's simply just hard for me as one person.Sometimes I couldn't help but burst into tears.Sometimes I couldn't help but ask why?Over and over again I asked why why why?I'd wonder if this feeling was what they called depression.But somehow...through the pain and all the tears,I feel that God tells me something very important.But He didn't just tell me this now.He's told me many times before,in many kinds of ways.Sometimes whenever my parents would correct me of my mistakes,I feel like God spoke through them to give me reminders.Sometimes the randoms acts of kindness from complete total strangers, help me to feel God's love.One time,an elderly woman on the busy street tapped my shoulder just to tell me that I dropped my wallet.Sometimes the beauty of the sun peering through white puffy clouds,or the gracefulness of rain pouring down,brings a smile to my face.Sometimes I hear the Holy Spirit gently speaking inside of me for comfort.No matter how God shows it,it certainly gives me good reminders.It makes me think of how long God has waited for the people of this world to open up their eyes and apologize.In 2 Peter 3:8-9 it says,"Dear friends,here is one thing you must not forget.With the Lord a day is like a thousand years.And a thousand years are like a day.The Lord is not slow to keep His promise.He is not slow in the way some people understand it.He is patient with you.He doesn't want anyone to be destroyed.Instead,He wants all people to turn away from their sins." With a kind of patience like that,God is truly merciful and loving.I believe that God's love is a special kind of love.It's not like the dead, plastic, temporary, and shallow "love" that comes from this world.The love that comes from God is infinite.This whole entire time,God has been hurt by the people He created.Can you imagine God giving His one only Son to the world who hurts Him so much?He does this by His grace, mercy, and love.A well known verse already shows this in John 3:16,"God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son.Whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life." People who take Jesus Christ in as their personal Lord and Savior,will build an intimate relationship with Him.As they get to know God they start to understand more things.I guess everyone has their bad days and rough moments.At times like these it's normal to feel like your about to fall off the edge.However,in 1 Corinthians 13:12 it says,"Now we see only a dim likeness of things.It is as if we were seeing them in a mirror.But someday we will see clearly.We will see face to face.What I know now is not complete.But someday I will know completely,just as God knows me completely." This verse goes for the times we can't help but ask questions.But we just have to be patient and hang onto God and our faith.In Matthew 24:13 it says,"But the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." I know sometimes,situations in this life can shift my emotions.But I can't allow myself to give in so easily.No other child of God should either.We live with the life of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit lives in us.We are new creations so why must we act in the same way we were before we knew God?How would that make us any different from the people of this world?How would we be the salts and the lights then?All I can say is...the love and the patience of God truly brings me down to my knees.It reminds me of my true place and it humbles me.It makes me feel determined to try and live my life with that kind of love and patience.But I know I have a LONG way to go.As a human being alone,my own knowledge is already foolish.I'll just fall down without God on my side.That's why I ask for help and wisdom from God.I encourage you to do the same.Because in Proverbs 3:5-6 it says,"Trust in the Lord with all your heart.Don't rely on your own understanding.In all your ways,remember Him.Then He will make your paths smooth and straight." Life truly is tough here on this imperfect, temporal, and corrupt world.But that's why God is here to help us.He has always been here,willing to help.We just have to give up on our stubbornness.I'm so glad I can find hope and comfort whenever I cry for God's help.