God Makes Me Strong

What could make a person so small?Is it fear?Is it chaos?Is it change?What?There will always be something in a person's life that brings them these feelings.There will be things that we can't hide from but forcibly face.I know that in a matter of days I have to face the one thing that I fear...high school.As I've said before,it scares me.I know that counting my numbered days until high school makes me feel so weak and small.There's this song called,"How He Loves" by David Crowder Band.There's a couple of lines that fit my situation.It goes ♫He is jealous for me.Loves like a hurricane.I am a tree,bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.♫I feel that way right now.I'm feel so helpless and vulnerable.But I know with God,everything is possible.After all I've been through,I shouldn't give into fear now.I know there are times in my life where I measure myself really small.But I have God who's big and incredible!Sometimes it may not be fear,chaos,or change alone that makes me "small", but my underestimation in myself and God!Wow!Do I feel foolish or what?!In Philippians 4:13 it says,"I can do everything by the power of Christ.He gives me strength."In Matthew 17:20-21 Jesus said,"Because your faith is much too small.What I'm about to tell you is true.If you have faith as small as a mustard seed,it is enough.You can say to this mountain,'Move from here to there.'And it will move.Nothing will be impossible for you."I should just have faith the size of a mustard seed.Its possiblities grow endlessly!I should just keep believing and trusting in God.I know that God will protect me wherever I go.I am not alone.God the Almighty Creator of the universe will help me throughout my battles in high school.Sure I have many changes and adjustments to put up with,but my God hasn't changed,and He never will.He's stuck with me through the chaos in middle school and He'll do the same in high school.I thank God for all the support and guidance.He's the only reason why I get up every morning to strive through each day.He's the only reason why I smile.He's the only reason I've finally reach my contentment in life.Nothing can be more better than that.I know high school will be scary.And I know there will be many other fears I have to face in life.But at least I don't have to face these things alone.I may be weak but God makes me strong.

He Loves Me

I have a feeling in my heart.It's usually rare that I'd feel this way.Rare that I'd cry uncontrollably and lose my sane all because of the love and mercy He has given me.This love that is so strong and precious.I don't ever want to lose it or take it for granted.It's the greatest love of all.No one else could possibly offer it.Do you know who I'm talking about?Still trying to guess?It's God!The holy,almighty,and most high God loves me...pitiful me.I'm not trying to condemn myself.But from the very beginning I was separated from Him because of sin.But He took me back.He fought just to take me back.He suffered,died,and resurrected just to take me back.I'm just a speck of His creation.I'm only human.I disappoint Him.But He went through all that because He loves me.And He went through all that also because He loves everyone else...unconditionally.All my life I had my own struggles to face.I had my ups and my downs.My faith was like a roller coaster before.When I was a little girl,I really loved Jesus so much.I'd dance,sing,and clap up to the point I lost my sane.People called me "little Jesus freak" or "God crazy".But a few years after I was up for a bumpy road.I backslid then asked for forgiveness.I was close to God at some point,then far away at another.After years until now I fully changed and turned 360° around.Back then I thought that reading the Bible was boring.But last year a pastor convicted me to read it more.He kept saying so many verses to me from the top of his head.My eyes grew big with shock.So when January came I started off with the book of Matthew.I learned so many things and was so fascinated by Jesus's beautiful words.I especially loved the figurative language.Then I read John,1 Corinthians,and so forth.Now I'm reading Acts.I believe that reading the Bible is the best decision I've ever made.It changed my life completely.Living life was more easy,that even with difficulties around I still smiled.I began to have different views of the world.And lately I've been showered with blessings,even with ones I didn't ask for.This year I've never been more close to God than now.We are inseparable.It's such an amazing experience.I just came from Blue Mountain this weekend.It brought me close to God as well.I declared my faith in Jesus publicly through water baptism for the very first time.When we were singing I felt tears streaming down my face.Uncontrollably, I cried.Word after word,lyric after lyric,the simple little songs that never made me cry,made me cry there.I felt the presence of God there and Holy Spirit dancing within me.Then I did something I never did before in public,church,or in front of people.I lifted my hands high as I sang and cried with shaky voice.Then today we had a preacher named Jeff Clark.He talked about how God WANTS us because He LOVES us."God wants you!God loves you!"He boldly declared.The words rang out into my ears.My eyes welled up with tears.I found myself crying uncontrollably once again.Just the thought of the righteous almighty God loving me just makes me cry.Jeff Clark said that we don't need to go to drastic measures or go over the top just to serve God.The light we shine for the world is already enough.We don't have to change anything for God to love us.All we have to do is let Him embrace us.We should just trust Him and let Him lead the way for what He wants us to do.It made me cry even more when he said that.These past few months I was trying so hard to do something for God.I was so weary of my every action and every step.But just today I realize that God loves me for the way I am.I don't need to change anything.I said that I wanted to be used by God for His glory.But I was wrong for being so determined in the wrong time.I should just wait and see in God's perfect time when He will use me and let me make a difference.Later on my parents brought me the the preacher.They asked him to pray for me.He asked for my name and age.And just instantly he prayed for me as if he knew me personally.I guess the Holy Spirit gave him a discernment about me.He prayed that I wouldn't be fearful.He prayed that I could be an example to my friends and family.He prayed about my future and what God has in store for me.He said that He was thankful that I knew that God loved me and that I knew God well.When He ended the prayer he smiled at me and said "God bless you Dara".His prayer blessed me and made me cry.Right now I'm back home.My experience in Blue Mountain will always be memorable.And I learned that God loves me just as I am and I don't need to go crazy in serving Him.For now I'll just go on with this life.I'll do my daily routine and do as I always do.I'll talk to God everyday.I'll be the salt and light.I'll be an oddball yet outshine the rest.I'll preserve souls with the salt that I pour.Until then I'll just live as Dara Jane Sy simply because He loves me.

A Pair of Shoes

Last night I had a dream that still overwhelms me right now.This is my dream.I was in this big mansion that I've never seen before.It was covered in darkness as if it were night but only a few rooms had some light.I was playing with my friends and I took off my old blue shoes.We were playing for a while and then suddenly my mom told me that it was almost time to go.So I looked for my shoes.For some reason I couldn't find them.Also my socks mysteriously disappeared as well.Then I started to panic because it was nowhere to be found.I prayed hard to God that I could find my shoes soon before we leave or else my dad would get annoyed.I started running barefoot everywhere in the mansion just to find my shoes.I walked outside on the sidewalk to look for my shoes.Then I went back inside to check every room and every closet.I ran passed every obstacle,twist,and turn.It began to feel like a maze.My mind was spinning.Then out of nowhere a familiar yet strange man walked towards me and asked,"What are you looking for Dara?""I'm looking for my shoes.I prayed really hard to God that I can find them soon,"I replied.He started snickering and managed to say,"Ha!You prayed to God!?There is no such thing as God!"I started to glare at him.I scolded,"How dare you say that!There is a God.I could say more if I want just to persuade you,but right now I have no time.I have to find my shoes before it's too late."I started running again.I thought to myself that this all seems...unreal.I thought am I dreaming?Then I forced myself to open up my eyes.
And there it was...reality.I woke up back to my familiar room and saw the sun shining through my window.I looked up ahead to my shoe rack and there laid my old ragged blue shoes.The one that I was looking for in my dream.Then so many questions started to pop up in my mind.What was up with that dream?Was God trying to send a message?And why did that mysterious man say such a horrible thing?I shook my head off and went back to sleep for a few minutes.Then mom knocked on my door for some breakfast.I told my parents about my dream.Then my mom gave me this book called,"Understanding the Dreams you Dream" by Ira Milligan.It had dream interpretations based on scripture.So of course everything in it is true.So I started looking up words that had to do with my dream...

Shoes:Gospel,covenant,preparation
Verse~Wear on your feet what will prepare you to tell the good news of peace. Ephesians 6:15
Dark Blue(my sneakers are blue):God's word,blessing,healing,good will
Verse~The blueness of the wound cleanse away evil. Proverbs 20:30a
Sidewalk/Path:Life,private walk with God,gospel,salvation
Verse~The Lord tells the people of Judah,"Stand where the roads cross and look around.Ask where the old paths are.Ask for the good paths and walk on it.Then your hearts will find rest in me"...
Jeremiah 6:16
Barefoot:Without preparation
Verse~Make level paths for your feet to walk on.Then those who have trouble walking won't be disabled.Instead,they will be healed.Try your best to live in peace with everyone.Without holiness no one will see the Lord.Be sure that no one misses God's grace.See to it that a bitter plant doesn't grow up.If it does,it will cause trouble.It will pollute many people. Hebrews 12:13-15
Running:Striving,working out one's salvation,faith
Verse~In a race all runners run.But only one gets the prize.You know that don't you?So run in a way that will get you the prize.
1 Corinthians 9:24

From all the words I've been searching up,I began to grasp more and more ideas.I believe that God is trying to say something from all this.It's not just a coincidence.It's not just some silly, weird, random dream.It's something real based on my life.Last night I cried to God asking Him for wisdom, guidance, and help.I'm just a stray lamb and I need Him to lead me like a shepherd.I thought about all the friends I care for and love.I knew that a majority of them are unsaved.Although some of them may be surrounded in an environment of God's word in the church or at home,they don't seem to be close to Jesus Christ.Even my so called "christian" friends are being part of the world.I told God that I'll do whatever it takes to make some sort of difference in this world.I want to use my abilities for the glory of God.And I believe that after I prayed God responded to me through this dream.The shoes I was looking for represented the covenant and preparation I thirst for and the gospel I'm aching the share.The shoes' color had dark blue representing God's word, blessing, healing, and good will.When I was walking barefoot on the sidewalk it represented my life, my private walk with God, and my faith.Being barefoot was a different story.It represented my uncertainty and lack of preparation.That's why I was looking for my shoes.But the fact that I was running just to find my shoes showed my determination in pursuing God's calling for me even after that mysterious man tried to discourage me.I believe that that man who said those discouraging things came from the dark side.He represented the obstacles that will try to pull me down as I strive for God's plan.But I won't let anything take me away from what God wants me to do.I'll do whatever it takes to reach these goals.It's amazing that God would give a wake up call through a dream of a pair of shoes.

"Goodbye"

I never thought it would come this way.A few months ago I even wanted middle school to be over with.I was excited for Bayside.That was until...the Bayside orientation,when things turned around.It overwhelmed me with the fear of growing up too fast.I thought that my childish days might be over and that I'm going to have to take life more seriously.But I also thought of my friends in middle school.They mean so much to me.They made a difference in my life and made me come out of my shell.Yes,I still am a shy and quiet girl.But when I'm with my friends,I could just be myself.I know I didn't know them too long and I act as if I knew them since I was in diapers.I only knew them since last December.But during these seven months memories were made that I can't erase.Jokes brought laughter that will stay in my heart.I believe that my friends were brought by God.I know that we will see each other once again down this path we travel,but there are really big changes.When I walked home from school today I couldn't take the pressure.I just had to let it out.I started crying from the thought of changes.But the truth is sometimes good things must come to an end and the things we used to love and know will fade away.So we live and we learn,we laugh and we cry.At times we must say goodbye.In life there will be changes but we all have to keep moving forward.I know we will still keep in touch and visit each other.When I say "goodbye" I'm talking about the time we spend in middle school together everyday.But I know that the world keeps turning and life keeps going and eventually things are bound to change.Just remember that I will never forget all of you because you mean so much to me.The memories will always be in my heart.

I Am Here With You

Just last week I had an orientation at Bayside High School.Everything seemed fine until I arrived at my soon-to-be high school.When I finally saw it my eyes grew big.The building was huge!It made me feel so small and weak.I was afraid, nervous, and overwhelmed.When it was time to go inside my friends and I went to the auditorium where the speech was held.There the staff talked about what we would expect as freshman students.I was all the more afraid because they made it sound so stressful.They said that we need to pass every regents and earn at least 44 high school credits in order to graduate high school.When the tours began luckily my friends and I stuck together and weren't separated.But as we took a tour I saw how big the school was in the inside and that terrified me even more.The staircase was so complicated,it felt like a maze.The tour guide said that if we were late for class the teacher can mark us absent.I gulped real hard.I was so scared that next year I would get lost and never find my way.I was in a daze.I felt like I was floating and everything was unreal.I felt like it was all a dream.I bit my tongue for a reality check and realized that it was all real.Finally after a long day I returned home.Worries seemed to fog up my mind as I came to my room.I started crying realizing that I'm not a little kid anymore and that life isn't some joke.Suddenly,I didn't want to leave middle school.I was afraid of growing up.Besides high school I worried what would happen after the next four years?Where will I be?What's going to be my career?But most importantly,what does God have in store for me?My head started hurting immensely as I thought so hard in my brain.Then I decided to spend the rest of the afternoon just praying to God.As I prayed to God the whole world seemed to fade away and all that mattered was the conversation between me and Him.I knew deep down inside that only God could heal my pain and ease my worries.I started talking to Him,asking for guidance, wisdom, strength, faith, and endurance.I asked Him to protect me for the upcoming high school years.I asked for Christian friends who I can trust.But throughout the prayer I asked for Him to tell me that He would never leave nor forsake me.I know deep down that He would never do that,but I still wanted to hear those words from Him.As I prayed to God I cried so much because I didn't want to lose Him.I asked Him to stay with me during the future trials.I said that I needed Him more than ever.Then after all that crying I finally felt something touch my soul.I opened up my eyes.Like a faint whisper in the wind I heard God's voice.Deep in my heart and soul I felt Holy Spirit say "I am here with you".I cried tears of joy knowing that God would never leave nor forsake me.He assured me that He will stay by my side through all of my life.I remember a verse that I read a few months ago.In Matthew 6:34 it says,"Don't worry about tomorrow.Tomorrow will worry about itself.Each day has enough trouble of its own".So I'll just go with the flow and rely on God through everything,because I know He is here with me just like every other Christian who are going through trials.It reminds me that through the obstacles we face on this journey that God the creator of this universe is in control of everything.God has promised to take good care of me.I have nothing to fear and that's puts a smile on my face.