Bottled Up Inside

I lift up my head as I turn to you.
Asking and praying for what I should do.
I feel like I'm just bottled up inside.
And all these feelings just stay and hide.
I feel insecure with the things around me.
I feel so preoccupied with all that I see.
I feel so overwhelmed by this foggy haze.
And I wonder if this is only a phase.
But I should know that there's more than this.
Something so precious and brings me bliss.
Yet circumstances pull me here and there.
My feet trudge with all the weight I care.
I struggle to stand firm against this storm.
I want to just rest in your arms that are warm.
I know there's a lot waiting ahead of me.
I must keep enduring for what's yet to be.
There's no time to start crying or time to give in.
There's no chance I should give for the devil to win.
It stings me with pain to know that I hurt you.
My sins are for the cross that you died onto.
Lord I know that there's more I could do.
With every action I know I'm serving you.
I've got a lot going with my battles in school.
But I don't want to lose you or end up as a fool.
Lord I know you can hear this prayer of mine.
I'm begging you to use me for your glory that's divine.
I take down my pride and all I'm proud for.
It's you whom I love,awe,and adore.
It's you who's number one inside my heart.
And I can't let anything dare tear us apart.
And as I go on living here day by day.
I'll hang on to your words and follow your way.
It's you who gives meaning in this life that I live.
And I'll hold on to every blessing that you give.

Written By:Dara Jane Sy
Dedicated To:The Lord Jesus Christ

This poem shows my prayer and cry to God.Ever since high school started I felt like I've been just bottling up my feelings inside.My stress,pain,anxiety,and fears seemed to just stay and hide inside of me.And most of my precious time was spent on homework and studying at the end of the day.Sometimes I'd only get four hours of sleep.And for this reason,it started to make me hate time...as if it was my enemy.I was overwhelmed and preoccupied by all this that I started to feel like I was in battle with the whole wide world.It made me feel tense and somewhat angry.I felt like all my time was being wasted.I was afraid that in the midst of all this I might just lose the most precious one dear to me...God.I was so scared of that thought.But I don't want to lose and let the enemy win.I know that the obstacles of this life and this world try to pull me down from what I truly aim for.I know I'm not perfect.There are times where I fall,stumble,or even get sidetracked.But God never lets down His children down.The Holy Spirit will always lead me to the right direction,if I ever go astray.Just knowing that I am saved by the death of Jesus Christ comforts me so much.I know am safe,secure,and loved.My God cares me just as He cares for each and every one of His children.I know I will be okay.In 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 it says,"We are pushed hard from all sides.But we are not beaten down.We are bewildered.But that doesn't make us lose hope.Others make us suffer.But God does not desert us.We are knocked down.But we are not knocked out.We always carry around the death of Jesus in our bodies.In that way,the life of Jesus can be shown in our bodies."That is exactly how I feel right now.But I know,because I Jesus Christ died for me I owe Him everything in my life.I know from time to time my body is just aching and I feel like I don't have the strength to keep going on.When I found this verse I felt like God was personally talking to me because it had to do with my situation.But come to think of it,this verse applies to everyone and this verse talks to everyone.In 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 it says,"We don't give up.Our bodies are becoming weaker and weaker.But our spirits are being renewed day by day.Our troubles are small.They only last for a short time.But they are earning for us glory that will last forever.It is greater than our trouble."Basically right now,my concern isn't only for myself,but also for everyone else out there holding on tight to God.This world can be full of hatred and chaos and we carry our little fears.But let's remember that there's a love and forgiveness out there willing to hold us with open arms.God is waiting for us to just bend our knees,humble ourselves,and seek Him with full heart.I know...that when I lay my burdens at God's feet I will be okay.God is in control of everything. :)