I Bet You Don't Curse God - Christina Grimmie Cover

In honor of Christina Grimmie, here's another cover video. I dedicate this song to the heartbreaking tragedies in Orlando this past weekend. I give the deepest condolences to the families and friends who lost their loved ones.

Long Time No Talk. How Have You Been?

Hey everyone, how have you all been? 

It kind of astonishes my mind that my last blog post here was over a year ago. Busyness might be one reason, but another might be the writer's block (or a lack of reason to write altogether). So much has changed between the moment I started this blog and between the many gaps of not posting. Whenever I log in to this website, I still see my friend blogging and that inspires me. 

So just to fill in the gaps of my life, I've been attending Queens College for the past 3 years now. 3 years just flew by and I will be a senior this fall. I ended up majoring in economics. I've been told since high school that if I picked x, y, or z careers, it will be challenging to find jobs. I've grown to become less weary about those fears. I trust that God can take me anywhere. I've picked up and learned many soft and hard skills in my last two internships. This is the first summer where my plans revolve around...work. I am now in real estate and God only knows where this journey will take me next. 

Besides work experience, college also offered me room to grow in student life. In the past year, I committed to helping out the Christian club on my campus (Cru). It wasn't all daisies in a pretty meadow. However, when I stumbled or felt discouraged from time to time, God always revealed Himself faithful. I grew in different ways each semester. In the fall, I experienced the joy of fellowship, friendship, and family in the body of Christ. In the spring, I experienced solitude, refining growth through the flames, and the fulfillment of a vision I prayed for the year before. I had prayed for all the Christian clubs on my campus to collaborate and be united and a year later, it really happened! 

So maybe I can't recap the most concise, elaborate summary of everything that went on in my life since Jan 2015. I lost my both my best friend and my grandmother. I encountered joy and laughter, anger and sorrow, and friendships and loneliness. I could say that 2015 was the hardest year of my life, yet not know what is ahead of me. 

If life only had the good and none of the pain, how can we appreciate the good times? The past year was a tug of war between depression and mourning— and attempting to keep a normal front to everyone around me. There's a reason that seasons exist, in order to signal changing times of the year and the type of weather we'll have. 

"Even so, when you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the door." Matthew 24:33

If I had to describe my life in exactly one word, I'd choose: bittersweet. While the seasons change for me, here is one verse I will reassure myself with. 

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18

Do Not Feel Defeated

Do not feel defeated.

Do not feel defeated. 

The battle isn't over yet. The enemy wants you to feel like you've lost everything, but you have a bigger God who already owns the victory.

Hold on to faith. Fight the good fight of faith. All things work for the GOOD of those who love him. Stand strong until the end. This is not for you. This is for the glory of your Father in heaven. He loves you. He wants you to win and stand in triumph together with him. You are not alone. You are not abandoned. You will overcome. 

All Partings and Goodbyes

It didn't hit me until now... 

I'm close with all these friends who eventually want to leave the country in the future.

It makes me sad, but for unconditional love, I shall let them go (obviously).

It was my prime goal....to stay in NY for the fact that all my friends are there. Suddenly, reality snapped at me when one of my closest friends said that she was thinking of moving to Korea or Japan. I remembered even earlier this year one of my other friends said that she wanted to go back to China.



So there's my reality. As much as I love these friends and as much as they may love me, our fates cross at some point and then our encounter shall have depart. Like lines crossed on another, they shall have their separation.

It's alright. It's a part of life. Whether I like it or not, all people come and go, not because friendships or the love has died, but because everyone is called to a unique destiny.

That's fine with me.

When I first entered high school, I made the biggest oath to never get close with anyone or call anyone "best friend." I turned my back on all my personal promises when I started to fall in love with these people. I made such a young promise to myself because all the best friends I knew eventually became mere friends, who gradually became acquaintances that inevitably turned into strangers.

Only the love of God can last. People may part and separate for the longest time. Only in the time in between can we call out our truest friends.

I humbly bid my goodbyes, even though we're just in different colleges now. Soon after, they will move to where they feel they belong. Goodbye best friends. You have given me the happiest memories and the best years of high school. I will always you. I hope you don't forget me.

Now, I've got nothing to lose if I move as far as California.

Despite the hurt, I do not give up

It’s weird how drastically fate can alter things in so little time. How the people dear to your heart are suddenly catapulted a million miles away. How the one who you sincerely trusted rapidly becomes an enemy. Despite a short distance, they have become unreachable, because they no longer want to be reached by you. Whatever days that shone brightly with the sun somehow turns into a period of gloom and darkness. Whatever conversations that were once saturated with laughter and bonding of friendship, abruptly shifts into a shudder of silence. 

I should have learned from life’s lessons long before. I should have recognized the patterns that life’s trials have thrown my way. I should have been calloused by the embitterment of disappointment and pain. 

Such unfortunate occasions should have destroyed my ability to open and trust. 

Nonetheless, as broken as the world is, as imperfect as humanity is, as foolish as my heart is, I do not give up on the hope, power, and love of God that can fix, heal, and save all things.